I was raised in the era of Maury‘s baby daddy chronicles and DNA tests. You are…..Not the father, Maury would shout then the crowd would go crazy and the mother would run off behind stage embarrassed and ashamed. The accused father (for lack of better words) continues to call the girl names and claims she after him for his money.
Whaaa? I was confused.
It’s common, a woman who takes a man for child support in my “hood” is usually made to be a gold digger, someone who really doesn’t care about the child but the money they receive for them. Grant it there are women who use the money for other reasons than to support the child/children but this is not about them.
Here my problem…..why are so many girls/woman afraid to take their Child’s father to court? Is it because of the label that follows? The label of being a gold digger/slut? What the heck is it??? Is it our pride telling us that we are a strong woman (which we are) and we could do it by ourselves? We don’t need a man??? huh?? what???
This court date is not about my pride honey ,it’s about our children and what they NEED. Believe me I was on that road of not wanting go do the child support thing because I felt like I was being singled out as a gold digger and a slut…(even though I was married). Then I told myself that I didn’t need his money and I was gonna do Bad all by my self…..I was wrong. I was wrong about the concept of Me, Me, Me.
Child support had nothing to do with me.It was about our children,the roof over their head,healthy food on the table and clothes on their back. I also had to think about my daughters dream of being a dancer. Would I let that get thrown away because me and daddy broke up? Is it her fault? Is it the Children’s fault? That’s what I had to ask myself. That’s what you have to ask yourself as a parent. It is not about US, the Adults! It’s about the Kidz! Heres the Fact that = My opinion:
The 1992 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, a binding convention signed by every member nation of the United Nations and formally ratified by all declares that the upbringing and development of children and a standard of living adequate for the children’s development is a common responsibility of both parents and a fundamental human right for children.
Did you see that people your child has rights! Your pride, your guilt,your anger your…..whatever needs to be put on the back burner.
We as mothers parents need to check ourselves. And I say as parents because more than ever now fathers are raising their children.You see, child support is not a gang up on the Father issue. According to family law and government policy typically there is no gender requirement to child support, for example, a father may pay a mother or a mother may pay a father. It seems that way because the child is usually left in the mothers care.
If my children father had custody of the children.Then he would have The Right to take me for child support and quite frankly (I know I’m quoted on this) I would pay child support!
Let’s switch places! …….. see how it goes. Because personally,sleepless nights when the kids are sick,had a bad dream, peed the bed or both. Helping with homework and class projects, cooking dinner, doing laundry, hair and clothes maintenance, doctors appts. (my daughter has vision therapy, an allergist, a dermatologist and asthma,) hospital visits, PTA meetings ,open school nights, bedtime stories, timeouts,”don’t do this” and “do that” then “my child did what”?!
“Clean your room” puberty, taking them here and there and I want this and I want that I’m hungry, I peed my pants….. again, tantrums, no ME time, nights I just wanna cry, nights I just wanna a strong drink, go to the club/bar. Oh what’s that? Sleep. yes! sleep and a peace of mind is all I need.
After all of that (and I’m leaving out a whole book) I would gladly pay you that amount every week and have the kids every other weekend just to have more time to find out who I am again. Are you up for the Challenge?
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THANKS IN ADVANCE YOU FOR SUPPORT!!!