I was raised in the era of Maury‘s baby daddy chronicles and DNA tests. You are…..Not the father, Maury would shout then the crowd would go crazy and the mother would run off behind stage embarrassed and ashamed. The accused father (for lack of better words) continues to call the girl names and claims she after him for his money.
Whaaa? I was confused.
It’s common, a woman who takes a man for child support in my “hood” is usually made to be a gold digger, someone who really doesn’t care about the child but the money they receive for them. Grant it there are women who use the money for other reasons than to support the child/children but this is not about them.
Here my problem…..why are so many girls/woman afraid to take their Child’s father to court? Is it because of the label that follows? The label of being a gold digger/slut? What the heck is it??? Is it our pride telling us that we are a strong woman (which we are) and we could do it by ourselves? We don’t need a man??? huh?? what???
This court date is not about my pride honey ,it’s about our children and what they NEED. Believe me I was on that road of not wanting go do the child support thing because I felt like I was being singled out as a gold digger and a slut…(even though I was married). Then I told myself that I didn’t need his money and I was gonna do Bad all by my self…..I was wrong. I was wrong about the concept of Me, Me, Me.
Child support had nothing to do with me.It was about our children,the roof over their head,healthy food on the table and clothes on their back. I also had to think about my daughters dream of being a dancer. Would I let that get thrown away because me and daddy broke up? Is it her fault? Is it the Children’s fault? That’s what I had to ask myself. That’s what you have to ask yourself as a parent. It is not about US, the Adults! It’s about the Kidz! Heres the Fact that = My opinion:
The 1992 United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, a binding convention signed by every member nation of the United Nations and formally ratified by all declares that the upbringing and development of children and a standard of living adequate for the children’s development is a common responsibility of both parents and a fundamental human right for children.
Did you see that people your child has rights! Your pride, your guilt,your anger your…..whatever needs to be put on the back burner.
We as mothers parents need to check ourselves. And I say as parents because more than ever now fathers are raising their children.You see, child support is not a gang up on the Father issue. According to family law and government policy typically there is no gender requirement to child support, for example, a father may pay a mother or a mother may pay a father. It seems that way because the child is usually left in the mothers care.
If my children father had custody of the children.Then he would have The Right to take me for child support and quite frankly (I know I’m quoted on this) I would pay child support!
Let’s switch places! …….. see how it goes. Because personally,sleepless nights when the kids are sick,had a bad dream, peed the bed or both. Helping with homework and class projects, cooking dinner, doing laundry, hair and clothes maintenance, doctors appts. (my daughter has vision therapy, an allergist, a dermatologist and asthma,) hospital visits, PTA meetings ,open school nights, bedtime stories, timeouts,”don’t do this” and “do that” then “my child did what”?!
“Clean your room” puberty, taking them here and there and I want this and I want that I’m hungry, I peed my pants….. again, tantrums, no ME time, nights I just wanna cry, nights I just wanna a strong drink, go to the club/bar. Oh what’s that? Sleep. yes! sleep and a peace of mind is all I need.
After all of that (and I’m leaving out a whole book) I would gladly pay you that amount every week and have the kids every other weekend just to have more time to find out who I am again. Are you up for the Challenge?
Find out what CC’s kidz is all About
CC’s kidz has been Nominated for the Brooklyn Do Gooder YAAAY!!! Vote Here
THANKS IN ADVANCE YOU FOR SUPPORT!!!
I think you women are indeed golddiggers, you use men cause you know the courts will give you half the fathers paycheck he literally becomes a slave to unjust child support laws, you’ll use that money to go buy yourself all kinds of goodies bet you go and have another kid with a different man to milk him to, oh yeah have 5 kids all with a different daddy and just look at all the money you got coming in! I’ve seen plenty of your kind I’ve got a son living with me now who can’t afford rent because of the unjust laws they’ve passed in the so called family court, when I got divorced from my kids dad I never asked for a dime I remarried and moved to another state but I let him come get the kids whenever he wanted, my son last yr married a girl cause she was having his kid he was 30 and had never married before but wanted to start a new life, 3mths after the wedding and 2wks after the baby was born he came home from work and everything was gone her the baby and furniture 1wk later came the divorce papers and an order for $600 a month child support she finelly called him and announced she was pregnant again and getting married 4mths after she divorced him and no she will not let him see his child she wants the new man to be its father he hasn’t seen the kid since it was 2wks old but he sure gets to pay through the nose for it, I used to wonder why women were having 3 or 4 kids all with a different father now I know what a cash cow for you and your kind and a string of men who can’t even support theirself cause their so broke paying you
Yes! I totally understand your anger. However, In my post I specifically said this post was not for those kind of woman. and I quote…. Grant it there are women who use the money for other reasons than to support the child/children but this is not about them. Yes it is sad that the court system has not connected the Visitations with the child support In New york State.There is help or should I say a movement happening for Fathers whose rights have been messed with, Here’s some links, and click here, here .I wish you and yours the best.
Here are the Links
Yeah really did you read the actual post?
The US has signed the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child but has not ratified it. It stands alone with Somalia, a basket case nation, in this but even Somalia says it will ratify as soon as it recovers. There are neo-cons in the USA who say ratifying the Convention will somehow breach parental rights. This is of course bunk.
Thank you for clarifying. And you are right. Childrens rights breaching parental rights? Huh? Wha?
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I totally agre, If you have to pay Child Support then you have to pay its life suck it up deal with it. Yes I am a father paying child support, not cuase I want to but by law I have to and that ok as long as that money is being used for my kid. Now if its not being used for my kid then I have a big big problem. Alot of people are misdirected about the Notion of paying and reciving CS. ITS TO SUPPORT THE CHILD, not to support you or to get revenge, the sooner you can accept that the better of you will be.
To the Payer of th CS: We cant control whats done with the money we pay for our child(ren) but by law we still have to pay, it sucks tust me I know but we have to deal with it and try our best not to be bitter about it.
(PS. just cuase your not on the books does not mean you got away from CS they can always find you)
To the Receiver of CS: Use the money Directy for the child, not for you or as a form of revenge, its about the kid not you or the other parent.
At the end of the day ask yourself who are you really hurting when you you do the wrong things for the wrong reason (Your Child)