The other day while in the Laundry Mat I was forced to ask God why he had punished me gracefully with such a child….. They say mothers get 3 fold whatever they did to their mothers when they were young.Well, I had a bad temper. I thought since my eldest didn’t have any tantrums except once when I Thought I put her in place; she never did it again. I thought I was safe from the Tantrum Monster ( saying it like a ghost…or how a ghost would sound?? or how it sounds on T.V……whatever) anyway I found out this week that my already BAD mischievous/stubborn son had a Huge Temper!! Too big for his little 38 pound frame could handle…. WTH!?!
Let me explain. I was in the laundromat, taking out the clothes from the dryer. My son approaches me and asks for his Super Mario Candy when he reaches home. No prob! I said and I tell him to have a seat. Next thing ,I hear an OUCH!! my daughter proceeds to tell me how he kicked her in the shin. “Neo” I say, “you know better”. As I’m speaking him to he tries to talk over me and tell me his side….Did you hear that guys??? He is yelling at me/talking over my voice. Then I realize I have had enough of this attitude and tell him that because of his behavior he is NOT to get his candy when he reaches home……I turned my back to continue retrieving the clothes out of the dryer (Hey!! I had a lot of clothes!) He begins to SREEEAAAMM… not cry, scream.. then I hear TWO big THUMPS followed by gasps from fellow launderers. MY son….yes my one and only son decided out of his anger and distress; he was going to bang the back of his head onto the glass window………………………………………………………………………
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……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….before I knew it I was around the Folding table ,my hand grabbed his collar and I was somewhere in the laundry mat telling him about himself and how he betta stop screaming by the time I count to 3. ( the countdown was actually for me because I was sooo pissed!!!) I felt so disrespected so embarrassed, so not in control! he stopped. And we had a little talk. Talk?? some may say. Yes Talk…we talked. I didn’t think slapping him upside his head was the proper thing to do at the moment…matter of fact not at any time. I am learning that hitting is not always the best way of Discipline (unless they crash your new Mercedes into the Garage with not even a drivers permit)…Plus I didn’t want ACS coming to my house. Later on in my house (8min later) he reluctantly(when I say this I mean he started screaming and crying..again) walked to his Timeout Chair. As he sat down I went and put myself on a mini timeout. Why you may ask? Why did I need a timeout? Because I needed to keep myself from going overboard …in other words from what I call Mom crazy. You see it is easier said than done to keep your cool when your child is not. Yes I know the child is …well, a child. But stress along with tantrums can really push a person over.
Here’s what has worked for me:
Ways not to knock your child out.
1) Make sure your child is in a safe/secure place, go in the bathroom and turn the faucet on high to blurr out the crying. Count to ten as much as needed. When frustration decreases. Confront the problem as the controlled parent.
2) Get your headphones,place them over your ears and blast your favorite song.
3) TALK, TALK TO YOURSELF, TALK TO A FRIEND, TALK TO YOUR CHILD (even if they are infants) Just TALK it can actually very calming.
Here’s an article I thought might be useful.
Are there any more ways to keep calm while your child is in a tantrum Mode??
PLEASE SHARE You might actually save a life…. No really.
Sometimes I think I’m the only idiot I know who wants to laugh at these posts. I mean, not your frustration, but more the dissonance between the “commercial” I played in my mind, before I was a parent, about raising children, and the REALITY of what being a parent truly entails. We must be pinnacles of patience, ooze limitless love, embody at least a modicum of self-sacrifice, and throw countless DOLLARS into the pot, even when we don’t FEEL like doing it. Even when we are thinking something completely different. It’s not lying, per se. Rather, it’s somehow managing to protect and nuture these little beings while maintaining a life balance for ourselves. I think that when people lived in caves, “all of this” was much simpler. Writing about my feelings in a venue that is entirely outside of the realm of my childrens’ lives is my release valve. Plus, it makes for an interesting, albeit controversial, read; like a car crash from which you can’t look away.
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