Helicopter mom Vs. Tiger mom Vs. Free Range Mom

Parents these days  are …..crazy….right? I do  wonder if my parenting is the “right” way from time to time. But am I biting my nails at every second of the day and reading every parenting book about spankings and timeout and whats too much discipline and too much love….(yes I did say too much love). I don’t know; this is all too confusing for me. Whatever happened to parenting with a balance??……….  You know, when a  child falls, instead  dropping everything and running (knocking down whatever or whomever is in the way) to his or her aid ….walk over to lend a hand and say ‘hey good job getting up on your own!  when we fall we must  always  get up, dust ourselves off and keep going’. Then the parent  grabs the child’s  hand and escort them to a safer area .…..THAT’S IT!!  Walking instead of running, helping them get up, encouragement, throw  a lil  Life lesson in the mix, display of  protection in the end and Viola! a great parenting moment…I think. I mean that’s what I would  do , of course we must take into consideration there isn’t a lot of blood involved or the child didn’t fall in the middle of the street or their fall didn’t involve falling from a high place……yeah had to make that clear. Okay so you haven’t heard of the extreme parenting??? Well, here are the break downs:

Helicopter parent aka “overparenting ” is a term for  parents who pays extremely close attention to their  child’s or children’s experiences and problems. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead. It describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children.

Tiger mom is a term used for parents who  rejects the  western way of raising children and uses the  more strict stern Chinese  method. Amy Chu the author of  Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,    has taken this to the extreme it seems. Here’s an example of what it means to be a ‘Tiger mom'(thanx to npr.org):

~Hauling a  7-year-old daughter’s dollhouse out to the car and tells the kid that the dollhouse is going to be donated to the Salvation Army piece by piece if the daughter doesn’t master a difficult piano composition by the next day?

~A mother who informs her daughter that she’s “garbage”

~believes, that: “an A- is a bad grade; …

~the only activities your children should be permitted to do are those in which they can eventually win a medal; and … that medal must be gold”?

~Free Range Parent: is a parenting style in which few activities are organized for children. Children are allowed to explore the world at their own pace.  It’s when walking to school,taking the train,going to the supermarket or playing in the park; is done without the parent being there for the every move. Allowing the child to gain his/her own independence from a young age. freerangekids.wordpress.com/

SOO… which one are you? I actually like all of them but to an extent. As my momma always said, “to much of one thing is not good at all”. At one time (first child) I did in fact make everything easier for my baby. If the laundromat had soap  operas on and I was doing laundry…My baby wanted Dora. My baby wanted to play in the front yard I would grab a lawn chair. I stayed in shape by running after her every move. Therefore, I was Helicopter parenting. When it was decided to put her in an extracurricular activities we chose gymnastics and Ballet. We went pretty hard didn’t miss a class and she practiced at home. Her schedule was overbooked with  Extra academic class at 8 am, regular class, after school class, ballet, home work, dinner, studying, shower and bed by 11:30 pm.  5 days a week her schedule was FULL.  The extra 2 days was chores ,studying and more Ballet. B’s was OK but it always came with a ‘you can do better’. These are some traces of  Tiger parenting. I allowed my 3 yr old to play with other older kids from the neighborhood  on a school snow day . I was inside.  My daughter went to the store herself, plays out doors with friends and just started walking the long 5 Manhattan blocks to school in the morning…But she has a cell phone and she’s about to be ten so maybe the Free Range parenting didn’t fully develop for me yet.

Wikipedia says

The parents of modern children are often encouraged to give each child the best possible childhood experiences, to ensure their success and happiness in adult life .However, it is argued that this may lead to over-stressed children who do not know how to take care of themselves. Their imagination and attention span are reduced. They expect constant stimulation.They are unable to cope with the unpredictability of the real world, either expecting their helicopter parents to intervene, or complaining about unfairness. They may not even understand who they are themselves until later in adulthood.

What do you think?

What kind of parent are you or want to be?

Take the Are You A helicopter mom Quiz.

Tell me the results….

This is gonna be interesting!


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